Eternal Mind of a Spotless Sunshine

This is the earliest I have ever written. It is still dark outside, and the only reason I am writing right now is to allow the cobwebs to fall away from my brain. That is because I have to go to work and have a "kick ass day." A "kick ass day" is either you kick ass, or you get your ass kicked. Since I am a professional writer, I figured a quick blog would assist to get the juices flowing. After all, if a singer practices scales, a baseball player hits fungos, and an actor does some method shit, then why don't more writers practice writing before jumping into the day? For that matter, why don't doctors play a quick game of "Operation" before they slice open a patient? If the fucker's red nose goes off, Dr. Slicem'n'dicem knows to stay out of the operating room on any given Wednesday and get his ass on the golf course. I guarantee the number of malpractice lawsuits would go down exponentially.

I wonder if the gossip industry warms up for the day by emailing friends about the prior night's dalliances of mutual acquaintances to other friends. In order for Gawker to publish its celebrity stalkings, does the editor email her girl Stacey (because I am sure they all have girls named Stacey) to tell her, "Guess who I saw, Rob, and he had a major cold sore!" before publishing, "Guess who I saw, Lindsay, and she had a major...."